International Audio Evaluation Standard
As we all know the sound of one's audio is a very subjective thing. You hear descriptive terms like, broadcast, full range, boomy, thin, needs more highs, and so on describing the audio. What is needed is an objective scale so a Ham can know what he sounds like in terms as precise as the RST signal report scale. In an attempt to standardize the character and quality of Amateur Radio transmitted audio, I have devised this 6 point scale. It is my hope that the Ham community, the ARRL, and the FCC will promote this as an internationally adopted standard for the communications and broadcast industries.
Audio Evaluation Standard...AES (no connection to Amateur Electronics Supply)
Marlon Brando: Very large; big bottomed; always close to the ground; and difficult to get from one place to another; when traveling the air waves, requires two seats.
Dolly Parton: Large on the top; well defined; roBUST; a bit thin on the bottom; but sounds quite good, especially when accompanied by guitar.
Demi Moore: Full bodied; contains all the parts in the proper proportions; has a good looking curve; very enjoyable when deployed; and because of it's BROADcast quality, has been used by many professionals in Hollywood over the years.
Brittany Spears: Beautifully shaped; a little thinner; proper relation between the top and bottom; looks as good as it sounds; travels well; would be welcomed in any shack.
Ally McBeal: Rather thin; poor top and bottom; tedious to listen to; not even welcomed by DX; sounds like a Heil #4.
Michael Jackson: Extremely thin; no bottom or top; undetermined coloration; inconsistent and just plain strange; even though the center part frequently gets a hand, very few care to listen to it these days.
Click here to see the spectrogram of the worst audio I have ever seen on 14.178 Mhz.
Memorize this scale and use it on the air. Whenever someone asks, "How's my audio?", you can quickly report, "You're a Brittany Spears", and dispense with the long, confusing, subjective description.